Sl33zy here, the defacto unofficial Burger King correspondent for the Fatguyfoodblog. I've been going back on forth on BK's fare for about a year now, and we've had a bit of a roller coaster relationship recently- and not like a fun roller coaster at Six Flags but more like an old, creaky wooden one where you're too afraid of it suddenly collapsing to have any fun. Last time I was there, I had mighty low expectations for the Whopperito, which honestly ended up being the best fast food item I've reviewed for this blog. But don't you think for a hot second I'm going in there and expecting a fluke like that to happen again.
At the time I wrote that review, I was still basking in the afterglow of the Whopperito's deliciousness. However, now I have to reread the review just to believe it actually happened- it's like a dream I had while dozing off in the hot sun with a sombrero tipped over my eyes on the side of a busy interstate. It appears I've been burned by BK so many times, even after a 10/10 experience, they still couldn't salvage their reputation with me. Honestly, if it wasn't for this blog, I'd probably be okay with never setting foot in old BK again.
But they just seem to keep cranking out new shit, and I've got a blog to write. So true to the old FGFB motto, time to spend my hard-earned cashola on the latest and probably-not greatest so you don't have to!
Because of sharing this blog on my Facebook page and the blog itself being powered by Google, I'm constantly barraged with aggressive fast food marketing in my news feed- so I went in expecting to try the new Bacon King sandwich and the slightly less new Jalapeno Chicken Fries. I didn't know that the very same day BK was rolling out a new Crispy Chicken Sandwich.
|i made this in paint|
|this was like $20...|
But I'll tell you exactly what textural element I'm not missing: rubber! Which is exactly how I'd describe this chicken sandwich- QUITE RUBBERY. In fact, if I had dropped the thing as I rightly should have, no doubt it'd still be ricocheting around the restaurant. For real, this chicken patty crunched in a disturbing way. My bites were almost kind of snapping off, like eating some kind of microwaved chicken jerky. Although the texture was unpleasant, the taste is about what I was expecting: a routine conjuncture of chicken, bread and mayonnaise; the taste that I imagine one who enjoys fast food chicken sandwiches looks for in a fast food chicken sandwich. Probably not that texture tho.
|fresh out the wrapper|
The future of this meal looked grim, but nonetheless I moved on to the Jalapeno Chicken Fries (aw, how brave of me.)
|yo this box can hold at least ten more chicken fries|
|did you hear chicken fries are legal in MA now?|
|god I hope that was mayo|
New Chicken Sandwich: D.
Jalapeno Chicken Fries: B-.
BBQ Bacon King: C+.
Review by sl33zy
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