Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Oreo double post! Root Beer Float & Banana Split Oreo cookies!

Wait...TWO NEW FLAVORS OF OREOS?! Yup. And if the rumblings on the Internet are correct we could see another two or three flavors more before the end of the year. Well then, time to get to it, today we review the two newest flavors of Oreo cookies! 

I like root beer. I swear I do. I even enjoy a root beer float every now and then. You know what I don't like? Cookies that are supposed to taste like root beer floats. The last time I was presented with a root beer flavored cookie...well...I had to make an example of it
So when I heard Oreo was trying their hand at it, I sighed, lifted the FGFB Bat off it's stand, mounted above the fireplace and took some practice swings. I was fully expecting that these would be the next item to offend the snack world so bad that we would have to film another video. But are they that bad? Let's find out.
Ladies & Gents, I give you...
Limited Edition Root Beer Float Oreo cookies!

Irwin isn't too sure about these...
When you rip back the package to reveal the rows of cookies, you are instantly hit with a strange root beer smell. It's there but it's not overpowering. It was still enough for me to make a sound out loud that was somewhere between, "Ughhhh." and "Hmmm". I'm interested, but expecting to hate them. They went with the golden Oreos for the cookie part, a wise choice if you ask me. After passing one to everyone in the room, I decided it was time to dive in. I twisted the top off to get a good look at the creme, then put it back on and bit the thing in half.




They aren't terrible. Don't get me wrong, I don't really like them and I won't be buying another package, but they are nowhere near as bad as those Ice Cream Shoppe Chips Ahoy. They still definitely taste like Root Beer, but it's not as intense. I think they do a pretty good job of toning the flavor down, so that the creme ends up coming through a bit into you chewing the cookie and that's where the root beer flavor arrives. The next one I tried eating the creme first and that was more intense, but still not terrible. It's almost like root beer is a flavor that they just shouldn't try to put into cookie form. Some flavors just aren't. Then again, Oreo will do weird ass flavors like this but meanwhile I'm still waiting for my damn Coffee Oreos!



So the bottom line on these, is if you're a huge root beer fan, scoop up a bag and give them a try. If you like a root beer every now and then, and don't like weird fake root beer taste, maybe skip these. They aren't good, they aren't THAT bad, they are just a weird unnatural flavor. I'm giving these a C-(The Gentleman's D).

NEXT UP...Banana Split Oreos!


These bad boys were so elusive that we had to have them shipped in from New York City! (Thanks Hannah & John!) We had been getting a ton of emails and messages asking us if we were going to review them but after scouring every store in the area they were nowhere to be found. Luckily we have connections throughout the country who help us out when we run into items like this one. So the moment these arrived in the mail I ripped them open and started gobbling them down. For the review. Obviously.



The second you rip them open all you can smell is banana. So right off the bat I was expecting it to be a strong flavor. These had a great look though! Pink and Yellow frosting with one chocolate and one golden cookie. I'm guessing they are supposed to mimic the vanilla ice cream, and hot fudge, while the two colored cremes are supposed to be banana and strawberry. Yeah they look cool, but did they taste like a damn banana split?!

There's a good look at the Strawbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry creme. 

Well...yeah they do! At first the banana is hands down the strongest taste, but as you're eating it, and the two flavors of cookies meld together along with the two kinds of creme, it all adds up to a pretty damn solid banana split flavor. Maybe a little heavy on banana, but it's a unique flavor in a cookie like this so it isn't bad.
With a lot of Oreos I enjoy taking them apart and eating the individual pieces about half of the time. However, with these I found that they worked much better with all those flavors together. It really combines for an excellent banana split flavor. If I closed my eyes and tried hard enough, I could almost believe I had just spooned up a huge blob of ice cream and banana covered in hot fudge. Almost.

Banana creme, son!

I'm giving these limited edition Banana Split Oreos a B+. If you spot a package in the wild, scoop them up while you have the chance because these things seem hard as hell to find, and they are a unique Oreo flavor that is unlike any they have done in recent memory. We should know, we eat them all. With slightly less banana flavor I would instantly bump them up to an A. They look cool, they taste like what they are supposed to, and they are limited edition! That means they are very worth your hard earned cash.


As always feel free to drop us a line if you have an idea for a product or restaurant you would like us to review. You can reach us by email at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com. Then if you're on Twitter, give us a follow for mini-reviews and other fun stuff. THEN, if you can't get enough, give our Facebook page a LIKE for updates whenever we post a new review, and some great food/snack news! See you next time!

Review by Rich

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Kellog's Jif Peanut Butter Cereal!

If you've ever read a post here on Fatguyfoodblog, chances are you know that if there's one thing we love, it's peanut butter. We never stop running our mouths about whatever new snack has a peanut butter version, from Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Oreo's to Any new Ben & Jerry's that has a peanut butter swirl in it. Well when I heard that Kellogs was releasing a JIF cereal I practically sprinted out of my house and down the street like Forest Gump. 

That being said, when I got to the store they didn't have them. Nor did they have them in any other store in our area, until finally one day I got lucky. So here's our review of the new Jif Peanut Butter Cereal! 


First thing I noticed when I cracked that box open is the peanut buttery aroma that wafted out. Alright, Jif cereal, you've got my attention. The cereal pieces themselves are a little square with the center cut out. Nothing too special there. Of course I popped a few in my mouth to see how they were dry. Was I blown away? Not really. My first thought is that they kind of taste like the non-marshmallow pieces in Lucky Charms, but covered in a sweet powdery peanut butter flavor. Tasty, but nothing to write home about.


So I poured a bowl so big that would even make the Rock's eyes go wide on his epic cheat day, and added a healthy portion of milk. Now here is where Jif cereal really shines. When the milk and cereal meet, it really brings out the peanut butter flavor in the cereal. I like to think that powder coating on the cereal pieces mixes with the milk to make it seem almost like some of the cereal has actual peanut butter on it. Needless to say, I took down this giant bowl with great ease. For a few moments my legendary hunger for all things peanut butter was calmed. But when that time was up, I took a stroll to the kitchen for another bowl. Yep, it's that good.



In the end I would have to say if you're a peanut butter lover, there's no reason you shouldn't be running out to score a box of Jif cereal. It's decent to eat as a snack, dry, but man, when you add the milk it skyrockets to the front of the pack of peanut butter cereals. Is it as good as Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch? Reeses Puffs? I'm not sure where it lies in the list of peanut butter cereals because I didn't have them all on hand to try. I realize now that I have failed you as a food blogger as far as this goes. BUT, I'm still telling you this is a delicious peanut buttery cereal that you should probably jam your mouth full of, as soon as possible.
I give Jif Peanut Butter Cereal a solid A!

As always, if you would like to drop us a line about a product or restaurant you think we should review you can reach us by email at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com . You can also follow us on Twitter for mini reviews and on location live tweeted restaurant reviews at twitter.com/fatguyfoodblog . THEN, if you really want to get connected to us, you can give our Facebook page a LIKE at facebook.com/fatguyfoodblog where we post fun things and let you know about new reviews. Do it. DO IT.

Review by Rich!

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Hannahmax Baking presents: Cookie Chips!

I've never heard of Hannahmax baking before.

If you asked me what "hannah max" was, I'd guess either a disney cartoon superhero or a porn star. Well, it is the name of a facebook bot, so I was close. But no, apparently it's either a newer company who is starting out by selling "cookie chips," or they've existed forever (the bag says "since 1993") and they're really going for it with these. There's a link on their site to wholesale desserts that look amazing (that only restaurants can buy), but either the site is broken or they haven't gotten to that point yet, since no matter what I click, I was sent to cookie chips, cookie chips, cookie chips. Either way, I got ahold of the entire cookie chips line, and Hannahmax has certainly gotten off to a good start (or taken a step in the right direction after 21 years). 


Cinnamon Sugar, Dark Chocolate Chocolate Chip, Chocolate Chip, Original, and Sea Salted Peanut Butter. Time to eat some cookies. That are kind of like chips.

I started out with what I figured would be the worst one, Original. 

Opening up the bag, I realized that this company wasn't messing around. Dem some thin ass cookies!


I mean, they're so thin, they don't even look like cookies. They almost look like... I don't know, maybe.. chips?

actually, they look like round wheat thins, but "round cookie wheat thins" doesn't sound as good

I'm not a fan of crunchy cookies. Well, that's not true- Oreos. But other than that, I'd say 2 of my all time favorite cookies are Mrs. Field's white chocolate macadamia nut with frosting added to it (yes, you can do that- make sure they give you the light blue), or Au Bon Pain's oatmeal raison cookie. Both are soft and chewy. They're REAL cookies, cooked perfectly, not burnt into some weird cracker chip.

I mean, look at this thing held up to the light! It's practically see-through!


Well, I bit in and my first thought was that man, these were crunchy, and man these were thin. But then I got over myself and actually thought about what they tasted like, and sweet holy heavens, this stupid cracker/chip made of cookie tasted like a truly incredible cookie. 

Opening up the bag, I smelled a pretty strong smell that I could only describe as burnt butter, which actually, when you think about it, is exactly what you should smell when dealing with a product such as this. It's hard to describe the flavor of these. They're buttery and sweet but in a way that's different from most store bought cookies. I read the back of the packaging, and here's how it reads: "Pure brown sugar goodness fills every delicious bite.... we only use whole ingredients, just like you would if you baked them at home." "No trans fats, no preservatives, no GMOs, no artificial flavors or colors." "Ingredients such as milled cane sugar, creamery butter, whole eggs, & real vanilla."

And suddenly the odd taste made sense- these are what cookies taste like when you bake them from scratch. I've been buying pre-packaged cookies or the store bought kind that you just cut and put on a pan forever. There's nothing particularly special about these cookie chips- they just taste like what your mom would make if she had a really great recipe for cookies and actually made them from scratch. And then made them really thin and cooked them longer than normal.

I wonder what they'd taste like in chewy form, but these work really nicely as cookie chips. They're small, crunchy and are great as just a few or a handful of 10. They're not gimmicky, they're just really nice tasting cookies that I wanted to eat a whole bag of instantly. I have to give them an A.

Next up were chocolate chip, a flavor I assumed would only improve upon the already high mark of Original. 


Sadly, they didn't. I don't know what it was. I don't know if it's the chocolate chips being just dark or bittersweet enough that they make just enough of the sweet brown sugary flavor go away a little bit, or if these were actually made with a different mix. They're good, and they still manage to have a surprising amount of chocolate chips in them, especially for such a thin cookie. But they aren't on the same level as Original. There's just something not quite perfect about them. 
C.

Next up was Dark Chocolate Chocolate Chip. 


These were definitely better than regular chocolate chip, but they were a little too dark chocolatey for my taste. If you're a dark chocolate fan though, these will probably be your favorite. Crunchy, just bitter enough dark chocolate with just enough chips. This flavor worked really well as a crunchy cookie too, maybe the best of the bunch.
B-.

Next up was one I was really excited about- Sea Salted Peanut Butter.


You never see sea salt in peanut butter stuff- it's always mixed with caramel. I was curious as to how this would work. 

There are big chunks of nuts in these. Well, as big as there could be.


But, sadly, no salt. 


Go back and look at the picture of the bag. I thought I'd be breaking my teeth over huge salt lick-level salt chunks. Nope! None to be found!
But that's ok- we still have peanut butter. Kind of. 
Yea, these were really disappointing. They kind of just taste like very slightly peanut butter flavored cookies with nuts, and that's not what anyone wants. You'll note there aren't any new peanut butters out there boasting "More nuts! Less flavor!" They have a slight saltiness to them, but I really honestly only noticed when I tried to taste it. I may have made it up.
I really wanted to like these, but they were the worst of the batch by far. In fact, I don't even care about eating more of them. To the free shelf they go.
D-.

Alright, so this review started out pretty glowingly positive, then sadly went downhill with some surprisingly subpar cookies. Could the last kind save it? These were the other ones I was most excited to try: Cinnamon Sugar. 2 things I love.


These did not disappoint. 

Look at that sugar!

These were exactly what I wanted them to be. They have a solid cinnamon taste that isn't too strong, and they are COVERED in cinnamon sugar, giving you that perfect mix of sting, sweet, and buttery cookie chip goodness. These were the first to go in our house, and I'm still sad about it.
A.

So there's not much more to say about cookie chips. You could just say they're really thin cookies, but that'd be selling them short. The just ok ones were still neat because of their snackability (putting them in a bag helps too), and the good ones were so good that they could come in any form and I'd want them. The Cinnamon Sugar cookies made me think of my Grandmother's Christmas cookies I'd get excited for every year. And really, all of these remind me a bit of those cookies. Hannahmax has managed to make me demolish cookies and at the same time, miss my Grandma. Well done.

They look great as a platter too, even if you feel that you've eaten too many and decide to take the picture with halves. 

I think I ate 3 more after taking this pic

These are in some stores, (Whole Foods is the only one I've even heard of, so we may be out of luck in the northeast if they aren't there), but you can buy them online too. The minimum you can buy is a 4 pack of 6 oz bags for $23.96, and you can only buy 4 of the same or a mixed pack of 4 or 5 (the 4 pack excludes chocolate- racist much?), so options are pretty limited, but hopefully they'll expand and let you buy single packs soon. If you're curious about these, your best bet is the 5 pack of every bag for $29.95 (all of these prices include shipping), or, if you want to take my word for it, just buy a 4 pack of Original or Cinnamon Sugar. I thought these would be pretty plain and would get old after I got tired of making jokes about how these are cookies, but like, cookies in chip form- but I was wrong. I already wish I had more Cinnamon Sugar and I think I may just finish off the Original when I get home. And I will absolutely be buying more of these.

Recap: 

Original: A
Chocolate Chip: C
Dark Chocolate Chocolate Chip: B-
Sea Salted Peanut Butter: D-
Cinnamon Sugar: A


-review by Mike

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Lay's "Do Us A Flavor" Mega review: Mango Salsa, Wasabi Ginger, Cappuccino, and Bacon Mac & Cheese chips!

In February of last year, Lay's rolled out a contest where you could vote for your favorite of 3 new kinds of chips: Cheesy Garlic Bread, Sriracha, and Chicken & Waffles chips. We of course reviewed them, and agreed with America on the winner, Cheesy Garlic Bread.

And they've done it again this year. SO, that means it's time for me to spend some time eating chips and talking about them. Ladies and gents, I present the 4 finalists for this year's contest. Save your fave!


First up: Something I've never had and can't imagine I'd want on a potato chip: Mango Salsa, in wavy form:


These smell pretty strongly of mango. I was surprised already.


So these are weird. The less flavor-covered chips are kind of fruit-sweet, with a pretty hidden tomato-ish (I guess) salsa flavor and are kind of enjoyable, but still weird. The super covered chips make my face do bad things. They have such a strong mango flavor, and even though I generally love mango in all forms (have you had a Bud Lite Lime Mango-rita yet? WONDERFUL), I thought these were pretty gross. They're just way too sweet and odd of a flavor, and mango flavoring in dry rub form just doesn't work as anything other than odd and kind of gross. I don't think the world is ready for fruit flavored potato chips. I'm sure as hell not. 
Grade: D


I decided to stop messing around and just went for the day-ruiner right off the bat. Dear taste buds, I'm sorry.

I present: Lay's Kettle Cooked Wasabi Ginger chips:


Let me give you a little backstory. I don't like sushi. I never have. I'll never understand how people who were raised on cheeseburgers and pizza suddenly hit age 30 and not just like, but absolutely LOVE and praise like the lord baby jesus himself raw fish wrapped in goo rice. For years, I was told, "you don't like sushi? It's probably cuz you haven't had GOOD sushi." But over years of being dragged to sushi places and eating roll after roll to prove to my friends that no- I have had what they consider to be good, I just don't like sushi, I have proven time and time again that sushi just isn't for some people. 
So should I be doing this review? Well, I bought the chips, so yea. 

Even though I don't like sushi, I could eat some of it if I had to- at least the less raw/weird versions. I could eat a California roll and not be too grossed out if it was my only option for food. Could I eat one dipped in wasabi and ginger? No. Fuck that. I'd rather starve.

Since the first time wasabi touched my tongue, I've despised it. I don't believe anyone likes it- I believe it exists solely so people can claim they like it and make a scene when they eat it. "DOOD! DID YOU SEE HOW MUCH WASABI HE JUST ATE?! DAAMN DOOD!" Or so Steve-O can snort it. 

And ginger? I spit it out when I tried it. Isn't it basically tongue poison that kills off any taste you just had so the next thing you eat can get a fresh palette? And I'm eating this on my beloved potato chips!? Of all the people I know who eat sushi, I think 1 person mixes wasabi and ginger together. But Lay's decided that the lunatic who submitted this flavor deserved to have these made. Sure Lay's, ignore my submission of chipotle ranch potato skins. But make sure you go out of your way to make this piss. Jerks.  


I bit in, and immediately spit everything out. In fact, here's me eating these for the first time: 

video

I guess that means that Lay's got the flavor right. As I panicked and spit chips all over my friend's garden and tried my best to not violently puke up my entire intestines, I was immediately taken back to the first time I tried these flavors, at a small sushi place in Somerville, Massachusetts. I swore at my friends and stared deep into their souls, appalled that I willingly spent time with people who purposefully ate such atrocities of flavor. 

So, if you love wasabi and ginger, these will probably be your favorite chips. If, on the other hand, you like actual food, you should set fire to every bag of these you see, screaming at them to drag themselves back to the hell they came from. NOTE: FGFB does not condone setting fire to bags of chips, unless of course you own them and it is done in a controlled way.

Grade: Every F that's ever existed, jammed together into one giant F that flattens your whole family and everything you've ever loved. I'm either setting fire to this bag or using it to prank someone I really hate. Unfortunately, there's nobody I hate enough. 


Next up, another odd choice for Lay's, Cappuccino:


Lay's is certainly getting adventurous this time. I opened these up, and they smelled like coffee. As I got closer to the bag, the smell sweetened up, with cinnamon and subtle hints of an almost maple chocolate. The chips looked awesome. I've never seen a chip so brown before. 


Were they good? ehhhhhh....

I'm not a coffee drinker (seriously, why am I even doing this review?) but I tend to love coffee flavored things, generally because coffee flavored things have a lot of sweetness to them. These don't. I mean, initially, they are definitely sweet, but as I chewed them, I found the coffee bitterness started creeping in, and I was left with a bitter coffee aftertaste that every now and then hit me with some cinnamony sweetness. This really just confused my taste buds more than anything- making me think I really liked these with time, but then each chip I ate gave me the same reaction: yuck. 

Grade: D.


So, while I've been excited to try these for the experience and test of my taste buds, these contest chips were failing pretty hard. Would the one flavor I was certain would be good save it?

Time to find out. 


Opening these up, they stunk. They smelled of a weird plastic meat. But that's ok- all chips I've had with bacon involved smell terrible. Could the taste be all that I'd dreamt of?


Again, sort of! But these are still awesome. They aren't really that different from any other cheddar and bacon chip out there, but I'm ok with that, since there aren't enough, and Lay's and Ruffles' delicious Bacon chips are only available in Canada, and SHITTY STUPID RUFFLES STILL HASN'T BROUGHT BACK THE WORKS. These are close to Ruffles' cheddar and bacon potato skins chips, just slightly more bacony. Honestly, right away, I tasted mac and cheese, but once I questioned if I was just imagining it, I felt like I was. These are cheesy, but are they really Mac & Cheesey? There is a very slight uniqueness to the cheese, but if I was taste-testing these and asked what they were, I'd just say they were cheddar and bacon. 
But again, I'm ok with that. I am 100% buying a big bag of these (or 5), but at the same time- I don't have to rush and buy out the store. Because there is NO WAY IN HELL any of the other flavors beat this one. If they do, it's a conspiracy. Fruit chips, wasabi and ginger hell, and a complete gimmick of coffee chips vs. a flavor that has time and again proven itself to not only be awesome- but be awesome on chips? These'll be permanent (or at least as permanent as Lay's decides to make them, which probably won't be very long). 

Either way, these are great. 

A

Try them all if you have the stomach for it. When you're done, vote at https://www.dousaflavor.com/#!/ but only if you're voting for Bacon Mac & Cheese. Seriously. Don't screw this up.

-review by Mike

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Klondike Kandy Bars Cookies & Cream and Caramel & Peanutes



Whats' this? A post on a Sunday?! If that Sunday is NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY then you're damn right FGFB is going to be out all day celebrating as hard as we can. But for people not so extreme, we picked up some Klondike Kandy Bars, Klondike's newest civilian freezer option. Let's see what we got hurrrrr and what exactly, you'd do, for a Klondike bar.

I started off with what I was most excited about, The Caramel & Peanuts.


The size I wasn't very impressed with, but, it's pretty standard now with the downsizing of all ice cream, candy, or any other bar options, so I'd say it's in line with market bar value. 


On the outside of the bar, was a standard, not as thick milk chocoloate coating, with small peanuts sprinkled about within itself. The coating sets the tone for the texture of the bar, as soon as you bite in you have this to push through before you can get into the vanilla inside, where presumably, there would be caramel.


There is, but just not enough. The Klondike Kandy Bar was extremely low on the caramel, but it wasn't too bad, seeing as how you have the classic Klondike ice cream in the middle.
The whole bar was lackluster at best, the caramel riding along the vanilla wave, with just a little bit of peanut texture, and a thin, non descript candy shell that would pass by everyone, unnoticed, unloved, working a day job at a call center.

Let's see if these Cookies & Cream were any better!




This guy was slightly better than the last one. I wasn't insulted by the thickness of the candy shell. If any company whining about costs and wondering how to make candy shells on bars correctly, call up Magnum, or maybe Dove. Unaffected by the Dot Com burst and the housing crisis of 2008, Dove and Magnum coat their bars like Khal Drogo does wannabe king's heads in gold.

The Cookies & Cream flavors felt exactly like you'd expect them to be. Expect a Hershey's cookies and Cream chocolate bar, but without the Hershey's chocolate to go with it.

Overall these bars were both just OK. I wouldn't take a Khalasar across the Narrow Sea to get either one of these, but if I came across one at a party or in a freezer, they'd satiate that Ice Cream sweet tooth for a bit. It's kind of like someone at Klondike wanted to make these cool bars, but the suits at the top put up so much red tape that the poor Klondike dreamer just couldn't make it the quality that he had wanted. Klondike wants to make a good bar, they do, but in the end, these just fall so very flat, that if you see them in the store, you might as well try something else.

I give Klondike Kandy Bars Caramel & Peanut and Cookies & Cream both a
 D
If you guys are really an Ice Cream name I can trust, stop pussyfooting around
and make a bar that means something. It's National Ice Cream day for godsake, you
should be ashamed. What would your mother say?
-Josh

If you can think of any food item or restaurant you'd like us to review, feel free to drop us an email at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com. You can also hit us up with any questions, comments, or just to praise us on how good a job we're doing! Follow us on Twitter for mini-reviews and live tweeting of visits to different food spots. Then, if you really want to connect with us, you can catch us on that Facebook thing.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Limeade Oreo cookies!

A few times a year the Fatguyfoodblog crew will go their separate ways and go on vacation. It's a break from the job and the every day grind. Everyone needs one, right? Well for a food blogger, you're never truly on vacation. I found myself in northern Vermont, near the Canadian border, still scouring stores for items that we couldn't find back in our area, and boy am I glad I did because I scored an item that has proven to be quite elusive. What is it? 
Why, the latest creation from the fine folks at Oreo...the Limited Edition Limeade Oreo cookies! 


Is that Champ in the background? 
As I sat by Lake Champlain ready to crack open this package of cookies, I realized that for once I didn't have any of the regular crew to try them with me, so I recruited the obvious choice for a review sidekick, my little nephew Mason. Despite not really understanding what a blog was, he was quite eager to help with anything that involved this colorful bag of cookies. So we tore that bag open and went to town.

This was basically torture for him. 
First thing we did was smell them. We both agreed that they did indeed smell like lime. Mason wasn't too keen on how long I took taking the pictures because I told him we had to wait to try them until we took the pictures. Right off the bat these reminded me of the Sherbet Oreos from awhile back, mostly just because of that strong green color of the creme. Then we pulled one out and I showed him how to twist the cookie open so we could get a good picture of the inside. I let him try one and he did it first try. Now came the moment of truth...

More green than the Emerald city! 
Now, I'm a man who enjoys an ice cold glass of limeade on a hot day, so you'd think I would love these. But I'm usually not a huge fan of fruit flavored cookies. But when I finally caved and the little man and I each grabbed a cookie, I was pretty happy with them! The lime creme has just the right amount of tartness to it to offset the sugary sweetness. The golden cookie was a much smarter choice than the chocolate ones with these. It's a much lighter flavor and that's definitely what you want when dealing with a summer cookie. Do they taste like limeade? I suppose? At least as much as a cookie could. I told Mason that I liked them, and asked him what he thought and took this pic while he was responding.

He was in deep thought here. 
He told me, "Well, um, I like the green stuff. It tastes like lime. It's good. Maybe once we both eat these ones, we can both get another one to have. To be sure we like them."  In case you aren't fluent in kid speak, that means he liked them. Although after the second cookie he did tell me there's too much sugar in those and that we shouldn't have more. Even at such an early age he's already got more self control when it comes to cookies than his old uncle. Upside to a little kid eating a bunch of sugar? Lots of energy to play superheroes.

Gotham's finest. 
All in all I would say the Limeade Oreo cookies are an excellent addition to your summer snacking lineup. They are limited edition so grab them while you can. They aren't overpowering at all, but they also have a nice little bit of tang to them. If you're into lime flavor, you'll probably love them.
All in all I would give them a solid B!

Big thanks to Mason for helping out with this one. He was one heck of a sidekick for food bloggin'. Maybe he'll replace Irwin for a while!

If you can think of any food item or restaurant you'd like us to review, feel free to drop us an email at fatguyfoodblog@gmail.com. You can also hit us up with any questions, comments, or just to praise us on how good a job we're doing! Follow us on Twitter for mini-reviews and live tweeting of visits to different food spots. Then, if you really want to connect with us, you can catch us on that Facebook thing.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A Tale of Two Quesaritos: Taco Bell vs. Chipotle

I've never been too big on Mexican food in general, so I've never really been a Taco Bell guy (except for when they add breakfast and I write 2 novels). But once I realized (someone yelled at me) that you don't have to get beans in burritos, I've recently become burrito crazy. Rice, chicken or steak, lettuce, salsa, sour cream, quac, cheese. Delicious. 

I had heard rumors of such a thing as a "Quesarito" existing at Chipotle, but Taco Bell beat them to making the name famous, recently releasing their version into the wild and actually advertising for it. 


So I hit up Taco Bell and got one. I don't think I've ever ordered a burrito from Taco Bell. I went with chicken and I was nervous. 

It wasn't very big, but it was also only 3 bucks, which I feel is fairly reasonable for this.


Biting in, mine was pretty low on rice, and the sour cream and chipotle sauce kind of mixed together into a goo. It certainly didn't look like they had advertised (yes, I realize I got a different kind of meat).


It was definitely cheesy, but was it anywhere near what the ad showed? I dissected.

not quite, but I'm not complaining

They mix together shredded cheese and a cheese sauce, which initially felt cheap- I wanted all shredded. But over time, I grew to like this combo, because, like hot american cheese in a sandwich, it made a nice creamy cheese mess of yum.


This thing was small, and Taco Bell has thin enough tortillas that I didn't really feel like I was eating 2 with cheese in between them, but this was certainly cheesy. The ingredients were subpar and pretty limited, but it was pretty tasty- at least 3 bucks at Taco Bell tasty. I might get this again but it's doubtful. I already feel the beginnings of becoming a burrito snob, so I don't see me getting a burrito at Taco Bell again any time soon, unless of course it's my only option and I've heard the call of the rito (have you heard it yet?). But if you were someone who already did get TB burritos, absolutely get this, unless you don't like cheesy, creamy deliciousness and fast food places making up crazy concoctions like this. Support crazy concoctions! 
I'll give this a C+. It's nothing incredible, but it's exactly what you'd expect it to be, and after adding breakfast to their menu, it's another big step in the right direction for Taco Bell. 

I'm not someone who is gonna let Taco Bell have this one though. I like comparisons almost as much as I apparently like spending a lot of money on food, so off to Chipotle I went to try their version. 

The quesarito is not on the menu there, but order it- they'll know. 

I know burritos from Chipotle are generally enormous anyway, but this thing was truly frightening.


Not only was it bigger than my hand and the plate I put it on to rest my arms, it was heavy as hell and the chick who made it could barely wrap it correctly.

I mean that both for tin foil and for the rito. This was the best she could do:


Chipotle's version of the quesarito is drastically different than Taco Bell's- not only in the obvious sense that you can customize the hell out of it and it's WAY bigger, but also in the fact that this is a Quesarito in its truest form. She actually made a cheese quesadilla (with monterey jack cheese (and a TON of it)), and while it was cooking, put what I wanted in a bowl. Once the quesadilla was done, she dumped the bowl's contents into the middle and attempted to turn it into a burrito. This makes a bastardized mess of a burrito, but this is truly a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla. 

Which means lots of cheese.


Here: in this picture, the cheese has globbed itself into its own layer of wrapping.


Make this picture larger. This is the amount of cheese Chipotle deals with.

INSANE

So this is delicious, but even for a larger individual who was starving, I had trouble finishing this. It's A LOT of cheese added to an already absurd burrito. The extra tortilla made it hard to eat too- the quesadilla was kind of its own thing, just with a lot of stuff inside, ready to pour out with each bite. But it was pretty mind blowing. 

I gotta say though, as awesome as this was, there were some pretty big downsides. First off, I wanted to die after eating it. Secondly, it costs 12 dollars. Yes, 12 dollars for a burrito (I got it with quac though, so without, it's probably $2.50). Third: again- I'm pretty new to burritos, but I'm pretty confident in saying that Chipotle doesn't know how to make a burrito. Maybe it's just the one I went to in Burlington, Mass. The chick who made this was nice and awfully nice to look at, but sorry hun, a burrito isn't supposed to look like this:

Top half: lettuce and quacamole:


Botton half: chicken, rice, salsa:


I don't know why they choose to make burritos the way they do. I'd go on a pages-long tirade, but this dude already did it so well, I'm going to respect him and link him. But seriously Chipotle, it's not hard to put ingredients in a line so you get each ingredient in each bite. It's even less hard to stir up the ingredients once dumped from the bowl into the quesadilla. But no- they just dump way too much stuff in a pile and wrap it into almost a circle. I really like quacamole, but I don't want the first 10 bites of my burrito to just be quac. I don't want all the meat to be in the last inch of the burrito either. It's supposed to be spread out. And it's supposed to be a tube of goodness, not a brick of ingredients sectioned off from each other. Did Martin Luther King teach us nothing?

So, essentially, A+ for the idea and possibilities, C for execution.

As much as Chipotle's poor efforts piss me off, this was real good. Maybe I need to try a different Chipotle? Maybe I should be the guy that just asks them to mix up the ingredients? Because when I got a little bit of everything in one bite, this was SO good. That was just pretty rare. 

This could be a thing of glory- a whole new super awesome and super fat take on something that's not that bad for you to begin with. But Taco Bell has the low grade fast food version and Chipotle has the higher end, I'm-actually-eating-food version, just made all wrong. Neither really got it right, but the fact that this exists at 2 huge chains at the same time could mean the beginning of more places trying this. And soon, your hole in the wall local burrito place that makes perfect burritos will be next in line. I'll be waiting, rabid for cheese, 12 dollars in hand, ready to embrace the future. 

-review by Mike